05 februari 2009

anger, entitlement and other annoying things...

I wanted to share my thoughts about the whole Christian Bale freak out. I don’t care to completely dissect the incident or dig into his psychology or argue with people who are defending his behavior. No one is perfect. We all have our breaking points, but seriously, having such a crybaby fit, at that age, in any industry, is uncalled for in my opinion.

“I’m gonna kick your ass?” How OLD are you? For fun, let’s just say that the DP Shane Hurlbut is the most unprofessional and incompetent DP ever. Let’s say that whatever he did on the set that day was incredibly uncalled for. How does one resolve this?

Does one, A. Completely lose your shit by throwing a HUGE fit. Act as if you are the most important person to exist and that your job at hand is much more significant than anyone’s job ever and make this known by name calling and threatening physical violence.

Or, B. Take a deep breath. Use your words…announce that you need a moment, speak to your colleagues and calmly say that his behavior is so unprofessional and distracting that you just can’t do your job properly.

I know it’s my personal imprinting that affects my strong opinion of these kinds of outbursts. I grew up in a household with someone who at times had no filter. Got extremely angry over simple things. I’ve found ways over the years on how to deal with this by detaching. It’s not so difficult once you train yourself.

Once many years ago when I was a waitress at an LA restaurant a man got upset because his nachos were taking too long. The bar got very busy at a point and yes, the nachos took much longer than they should have. These things happen. He asked for his check, which also took a moment. I processed his credit card and he signed it. I was totally floored when I found what he had written in the space where the tip should have been.

No tip. You’re worthless.

Wow! Amazing that this man felt that I had no worth because he had to wait for his nachos and check. My boyfriend at the time was sitting at the bar and I showed him. He said that that is considered harassment. I showed my manager who said that the man was now in the restaurant with his family. I found him at the salad bar. I held up the receipt and said, “Sir, this is harassment” and I walked away. A few minutes later he came up to me in the bar and apologized to me. He handed me $5 and explained to me that he is diabetic and that he hadn’t eaten so he got cranky. Yeah, ok. How about you prepare for this? If you’re a diabetic who needs to eat ASAP you could inform me and I could bring you some bread or orange juice or both even and I could even tell the kitchen to rush your order. It’s unbelievable the things that happen when you simply ASK for them.

I was in my 20’s when that happened. Not quite detached yet. If that happened now I wouldn’t waste my time by finding the guy in the restaurant. I would just let it go.

Just last week a man came up to me while I was putting in an order at the computer. He asked if he could order some drinks. I said, “Sure, I’ll be right over”. He asked if he could just tell me now (meaning then of course) and I said, “sure”. He ordered a Grey Goose Gimlet on the rocks. He ordered a Stoli Vanilla and club soda for a friend and said, “Oh, I forget what the other guy had” and I said that I could look it up on the check, so I did. It was a Kettle One and tonic. He said, “Don’t give him Kettle One, give him your crap vodka”. I said, “We don’t have crap vodka” and he said, “Give him your cheapest vodka, I don’t like him. He’s not even a member” Ok. I rang in Svedka and tonic. It was this mans credit card I was holding so I did what he asked.

When I returned to the table I placed the Gimlet in front of him, the Stoli Vanilla in front of the other guy and the Svedka in front of the other guy. It turns out that both of the other drinks were wrong. The Stoli Vanilla was supposed to be with Sprite and the other drink was supposed to be Kettle One and Red Bull. So the guy with the Svedka nicely asked if he could have the correct drink. The Stoli Vanilla guy was a little pissy and said the drink order was wrong. I rang is exactly what was asked. The Gimlet guy was getting upset and he aggressively asked, “WHAT did I tell you to bring me? WHAT did I tell you to bring me?” I stood there and contemplated the repercussions v. the satisfaction of saying, “Well, actually, you asked me to bring our “crap” vodka for that guy, because you don’t like him”, But instead, I said, “excuse me one minute” and he said, “Yeah, and send someone else over”. I went to my manager to tell her what happened and he came over almost immediately. I was standing in earshot and could hear exactly what he was saying. He complained that I got his drink order wrong and then I disputed it and then asked my manager what I had told him. My manager simply cut to the chase and asked what drinks he would like and that she would bring them over. I couldn’t help snickering when he once again, ordered the Stoli Vanilla with soda, which was the wrong drink.

Loooooonnnnnng story short. People need to get over their entitlement/anger issues. Oh, the stories I have about people demanding free drinks because this or that happened. Everyone wants some sort of compensation. It’s fascinating, funny, sad and embarrassing.